Translating Poetry into Song

The inspiration for this song stems from my literary translation of the original text from English to Mandarin Chinese.

I found in some of the original lines distinct musical qualities that are typical of lyrical poetry, such as rhymes, repetitions of words and phrases, and the direct expression of personal feelings.

[ASSONANCE] vase-grace-gray

Example Sentence 1: 

dying over the lip of the VASE: 
the tulips, their sloping GRACE.

慢慢凋谢于花瓶的边沿(yán)：
郁金香，它们优雅的曲线(xiàn)。

title line: When You Are Old and I Am GRAY
an ending rhyme pattern based on the diphthong |ei|: GRAY – VASE – GRACE

The initial musical characteristic I explore is assonance. In the concluding sentence of the source text, it reads, “dying over the lip of the vase, the tulips, their sloping grace.” An observant ear would discern the interwoven vowel pairings such as “over” and “slope,” “lip” and “tulip,” and “vase” and “grace.” These pairings delicately mold the two clauses of the sentence into a harmonious rhyming couplet. Notably, the words “vase” and “grace” resound with the concluding word of the original title – "gray." This hints at a poetic symmetry rooted in the |ei| diphthong sound. This phonetic motif, originating from the title's word “gray,” finds its return in the words “vase” and “grace,” establishing a compelling resonance that mirrors the rhyming cadence.

[REPETITION]

Example Sentence 2:

Long ago, a tulip was just a tulip. 
This is so long ago, it is a time I can barely remember, a time before you.

很久以前，郁金香只是郁金香而已。
那是很久以前，游离记忆之外，在你出现之前。
 

Example Sentence 3:

This is how something simple, something in this world, something that just is, takes on meaning.

这便是简单之事，世上之物，本真之貌，变得意义非凡的方式。
 

Another prominent musical attribute is the deliberate repetition of specific words and phrases. In the opening sentence, the term “tulip” emerges twice, accompanied by the repetition of “long ago” and “a time.” The subsequent sentence echoes the word “something” thrice. This repetition serves a purpose beyond mere linguistic recurrence – it guides us into a mental realm where the words transition from conveying distinct meanings to generating a heightened focus on their rhythmic sounds and cadences. As we encounter these reiterated words, our cognitive attention to their semantic content wanes, while our awareness of the melodic syllabic patterns intensifies.

This auditory transformation shifts the very nature of these words from conventional speech to a musical symphony. This psychological phenomenon, known as semantic satiation, demonstrates the gradual detachment of the words’ semantic significance, enabling the musical facets to wield a stronger emotional and physical influence over us.

The inherent musicality of the original text ignited my creative drive, propelling me to fashion these sentences into a dynamic verse-chorus song arrangement. Aiming to forge a fresh fusion between language and melody, I started an improvised exploration, strumming various chord progressions on my acoustic guitar. As each set of chords resonated, I carefully wove melodies that suit the flow of the chosen sentences. This process not only paid homage to the text's emotive cadence but also breathed new life into its essence, culminating in a harmonious marriage of words and sounds.

dying over the lip of the vase,
the tulips
you said how lovely they look, their sloping grace

as if the night has lost its way to the day
as if time has stopped for them to celebrate
as if they will stay here and never fade away

To shape the song's structure, I initially crafted a core ending rhyme scheme, interweaving words from the original text that feature the resonant diphthong [ei]. This diphthong, heralded by the final word in the title, "When You Are Old and I Am Gray," anchors an evolving pattern of musical rhyme. It harmoniously navigates through concluding phrases such as “way,” “page,” “weighed,” “table,” and “vase.” Ultimately, it crescendos to a fulfilling culmination in the word “grace,” akin to a musical piece that commences and concludes with the tonic, offering stability and a sense of closure, a melodic home.

In pursuit of constructing the main verse segment, a need emerged for additional rhyming sentences that culminate with words housing the diphthong [ei]. Thus, I penned three more sentences that echo the sentiment encapsulated within the original text's final sentence: “our time together cannot be weighed in the currency of bananas or books or even tulips.” These supplementary lines maintain the conversational cadence while deepening the narrator's assertion that the love shared transcends temporal constraints. Concurrently, each of these added sentences culminates in a word boasting the [ei] diphthong, enhancing the coherence of the Verse I section's rhyming schema.

CHORUS: 

I wait for you in the dawning rays
when you are old and I am gray

VERSE I: 

dying over the lip of the vase, the tulips
you said how lovely they look, their sloping grace
as if the night has lost its way to the day
as if time has stopped for them to celebrate
as if they will stay here and never fade away

VERSE II: 

O so long ago,
It is a time I can barely remember
a time before you

All that I need to know
is you love this flower and I love you
when you are old and I am gray

The Verse II section serves as a vital link between the first occurrence of Verse I and its repetition. All the lines in Verse II are directly extracted from the original text. The first three lines condense Example Sentence 2, capturing the essence of “This is so long ago, it is a time I can barely remember, a time before you.” Lines 4 through 6 amalgamate elements from the original sentence (“–but really all that matters is you love this flower and I love you”) with the refrain (“when you are old and I am gray”). In doing so, Verse II enhances the overarching theme of love versus the passage of time and contributes to the song's structural dynamics. 

Additionally, I incorporated the original title as a recurring refrain throughout the entire song. It appears at the conclusion of both the chorus and Verse II, reinforcing the central message of the original text: that the love shared between the couple grows stronger despite their advancing age and diminishing physical vigor.

When I adapted the original sentences into lyrics, my approach was always guided by the musical context. The words in a song hold a distinct role compared to those in prose or poetry. Lyrics thrive when complemented by the musical backdrop, whereas the latter often stands independently to convey the complete narrative, employing a combination of storytelling, imagery, and emotional resonance. Lyrics, rooted in a poem, may occasionally seem incomplete as they intentionally leave room for the musical arrangement to fill in the expressive gaps. This complementary relationship between lyrics and music results in a deeper semantic and structural unity within the song.

 Progression 1. [Chorus; Verse I; Solo]

Cmaj7 - D6 - Asus2 - Asus2
Cmaj7 - D6 - E         - E

Progression 2. [Verse II]
a half-step descending line cliché

E–D–#C–C–A–B–E–E

In crafting this song, I incorporated two distinct sets of chord progressions. The first progression contains eight bars and comprises the chords C major 7th, D 6th, A suspended 2nd, and E. This particular sequence finds its place in the Chorus section, the Verse I section, and the Solo section. The second eight-bar progression centers around the E chord and features a descending half-note bass line to guide its movement. This second progression comes to life in the Verse II section.

The rhythmic pattern in this song maintains a deliberate simplicity and consistency. To convey the chords, I opted for a right-hand finger-picking technique. The song adheres to a 4/4 time signature, featuring a continuous eighth-note progression in each bar. This rhythmic structure harks back to the characteristic style of 1960s and 1970s folk songs, reminiscent of tracks like The Beatles’ “Yesterday,” Paul Simon’s “Scarborough Fair,” and The Who’s “Behind Blue Eyes.” The choice of this eighth-note rhythmic pattern serves a dual purpose. Firstly, it aims to evoke a sense of nostalgia akin to the original speaker's voice in the source material. Secondly, it directs the listener's focus towards the vocal dynamics of the singer-storyteller, as opposed to the guitar accompaniment’s shifting rhythms.

Once the lyrics found their rightful places within the rhythmic structure dictated by the ebb and flow of chord progressions, I proceeded to craft the primary melodic lines. With my guitar, I played a specific chord progression on a continuous loop, simultaneously allowing the words to flow naturally from me as I hummed them in an improvised manner. I permitted various melodic lines to organically merge with the chord progression's natural cadence. I patiently awaited those ephemeral yet unforgettable moments when words and melodies harmoniously converged, capturing these spontaneous impulses and combinations in recorded form.

Subsequently, I reviewed these recordings, selecting those that evoked intense emotions, giving me goosebumps or even bringing tears to my eyes. I then revisited these chosen melodic lines, singing them aloud alongside my guitar to ensure each note achieved a more precise pitch, duration, and emphasis. These refined renditions were documented within computer music software soundtracks, where final editing and mixing took place.