Oriental

Jenny Yang Cropp

The Wal-Mart cashier stares at my license, my face,
my license again, doesn’t believe that’s me
in the picture, eyes slanted because I smiled
too much, showed my teeth to the DMV. You look
white in real life
, she says and inspects the photo
a few more times at different angles, intervals,
degrees of light. Oriental, she says, tapping
one long fake nail on her proof. She names me
the way we all must name the things we fear,
like she’s picked me from a line-up, found me
hiding in plain sight. At first, I want to apologize,
offer an explanation, blame it on my mother
or my father, tell her about dominant and recessive
traits, my brother’s coarse hair, my sister’s eyes,
my round face. We can’t help what we inherit—
the drunk at a party who thought it was safe
to pull his eyelids back and mock a Chinese taxi driver,
an ex who laughed when I wanted a bicycle
and asked if I’d be making deliveries, the Japanese
boss who frowned and shook her head
when I tried to commiserate. Our ability
to hold both sides in our skin makes no sense
to them, to this woman who repeats oriental
for emphasis after I’ve said I’m half-Korean,
as if I’m mistaken about which way the sun rises
or which direction I face, as if she’s sure
when she takes my check, I’ll go out to the parking lot,
untie my dragon, and fly away, due east.

东方人

Zhongxing Zeng

Translator's Note

沃尔玛的收银员盯着看我的驾照,我的脸,
又回看一眼驾照,不相信照片里的人
是我,眼睛倾斜因为我微笑得
很舒展,向车管局露出了牙齿。现实中你
看起来是白人
,她一边说着一边将照片
从不同的角度,间隔,光照强度,
审视了几番。东方人,她说着,长长的
假指甲敲击着证据。她称呼我
如同我们称呼那些令人恐惧之物,
仿佛她已从一队人里把我挑了出来,发现我
藏匿于众目睽睽之中。起初,我想道歉,
解释一下原因,把问题怪罪到我妈
或我爸的头上,跟她讲讲显性和隐性
性状,我兄弟粗糙的头发,我姐妹的眼睛,
我的圆脸。我们无法控制我们的遗传—
聚会上的醉汉觉得很安全即使他
向后拉拽眼皮去戏仿一个华裔的士司机,
一个前任笑而问我是否要去送快递
当我想要一辆自行车,日裔老板
皱起眉又摇摇她的头
当我试着表达我的同情之心。他们
无法理解我们血脉中双向双元的
承载力,这位女士重复强调着东方人
虽然我已说了我有一半韩国血统,
好像我搞混了太阳应从何边升起
或是弄错了我面对的方向,好像她确定
当她给我结完账,我就会去停车场,
解开我的龙,腾空飞走,朝着东方。

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