Translating Kevin Phan’s “Bellybutton- Rinpoch & I” and Patrycja Humienik’s “Aubade in which I linger”
Staring at the blank page of this note, I realize that us translators have the privilege over writers and poets —we don’t have to start the task completely from scratch. We are already handed the gift of an existing creation, a woven tapestry of words in a foreign tongue, and our task is to unravel their threads delicately, reinterpreting and interlacing them into new fabrics. Through translation, I got an opportunity to step into the shoes of authors, to traverse the terrain of their thoughts, emotions and artistic expressions, striving to maintain the essence of their work while giving it new life in other languages.
Born and raised in Vietnam in a multicultural and multilingual household, I would find myself pondering my thoughts between three different languages: Vietnamese, Mandarin and English. This linguistic diversity played a significant role in my decision to delve into the world of translation.
While selecting poems from The Hayden Ferry Review, I chose to undertake the simultaneous translation of the poems from English into both Chinese and Vietnamese. I selected two poems, “Bellybutton- Rinpoch & I” written by Kevin Phan, and “Aubade in Which I Linger” by Patrycja Humienik, two poems that capture contemplative moments and self- introspection, for my translation work.
Throughout this process, I encountered various challenges. However, I also discovered the intricacy and complexity of different language systems. There was a particular joy in cross-translating between Chinese and Vietnamese and in exploring linguistic artifacts embedded within these cultures.
Chinese translation
On “Bellybutton- Rinpoch & I” by Kevin Phan
Kevin Phan’s poem, “Bellybutton- Rinpoch & I” is a conversational and introspective piece that explores the complexities of human emotions and experiences, self-reflection and self-discovery. It is presented in a question-and-answer format, creating a dialogue-like structure.
Rinpoche, a central term of the poem, is from Tibetan Buddhism which means “the precious one" or someone you honor and respect. This vocabulary, however, may be foreign to people outside of the community. At first, I kept the transliteration of the word, which is 仁波切. My reviewer, Dr. Tsao, then suggested I could translate the word as 活佛 (living Buddha) because this depicts a similar meaning and is easier for the readers to understand. Many words mentioned in the poem are foreign to Chinese, including proper nouns for animals and cultural practices that are not common in Asia. I did a lot of research to make sure I used the correct dictionary terms for them. My reviewers Yihui Hua and Dr. Joanne Tsao suggested some of the terms for me through their research.
The syntax and linguistic differences between the two languages, Chinese and English, also made it challenging to try to convey the right meanings and the intention of the poet. In English, we pluralize by adding suffix —s. But in Chinese, you would add quantifiers to indicate plurals as there is no plural form of the nouns. Therefore, I wanted to maintain concision and accuracy in my translations. For example, in line 14 of the original poem reads “two pairs of grandparents" and this is completely comprehensible in English. However, in Chinese, 两对祖父母 sounds stiff and unnatural. Therefore, Dr. Tsao suggested I change it to 祖父母和外祖父母 (paternal grandparents and maternal grandparents), which sounds much more natural.
Dr. Tsao emphasized the importance of focusing on both the explicit content and the implicit nuances in literary translation. This means that we have the option to translate the literal words of the poem or to render its deeper intended meaning. Yihui also recommended the same.
In line 18: We are blown over in these winds
Yihui translated as:
这世俗之风吹过了我们每一个人
(These worldly winds blown over each of us)
The term吹过了depicts the past tense “blew.” This ensures grammatical consistency between the two languages. The phrase "这世俗之风" (these worldly winds) better conveyed the cultural and contextual connotations of the source text. It implies that the winds represent societal influences, which align with the original meaning.
In line 35:
Five oceans are drunk on the tip of each hair
五海皆醉直达发梢
(Five oceans reach straight to the tips of each hair)
These slight differences in the choice of words (drunk vs reach straight) illustrate our interpretation of the poem’s ending line. The metaphor encapsulates the contemplative journey of “I”, who has found the hidden depths in the seemingly mundane moments of life. In the poem, throughout the answers that “I” gave, “I” has been embracing the richness and complexity of memories, emotions and thoughts. To capture an immersive and sensory experience, Kevin Phan used “drunk;” hence, I used “reach straight” to emulate the intended meaning.
Yihui’s chosen translation, while maintaining the literal meaning of the words, also maintains accuracy as it flows more smoothly in Chinese and sounds more natural than word-for-word translation.
On “Aubade in which I linger” by Patrycja Humienik
"Aubade in Which I Linger" by Patrycja Humienik is a brief yet evocative poem that explores themes of transition and self-reflection, in which the poet contemplates the intricacies of change and growth, depicting the hesitations that come with such transitions. Humienik used metaphorical, vivid language to add aesthetic depth and complexity of the human journey in connection with the natural world. The poetic structure and word choice also add musicality and rhythm to the poem.
Based on my interpretation, I decided to take a more creative approach, aiming to find words that encapsulates the feelings expressed in the poem as well as the rhythmic and poetic nuances. I used 成语 (cheng yu- four syllables idioms) which is effective in translating both the original meanings capturing the poetic gravitas.
For example, I attempted to recreate the same essence of the title “Aubade in which I linger” by selecting the right Chinese word for “linger.” 流连(lingering, staying on) doesn’t evoke the same emotional effect of the original poem, of what “Night knows I’m unlikely to leave first” convey. Hence, I used the idiom 流连忘返 (lingering on, not wanting to return) to express “linger.” With the similar approach, I translated “grainy” (line 2) into 模糊不清 (grainy, unclear), lulled to an almost-sleep” (line 11) into 昏昏欲睡 (drowsy, almost sleep), “stirring” (line 12) into惊心动魄 (heart stirring), and “sift” (line 12) into 心烦意乱 (annoyed and perplexed), which explained the effect of “sift.” The Chinese translation attempted to highlight the musicality and poetic language, while also transferring the original meaning and flow that the poem intended.
Vietnamese translation
On “Bellybutton- Rinpoch & I” by Kevin Phan
The fact that Kevin Phan is Vietnamese, like myself, creates a strong sense of connection and I am delighted to translate his poem to the Vietnamese community.
The beauty of Vietnamese poetry lies in its utilization of rhymes, which enhances the musicality and melodious quality of the verses. Vietnamese is a tonal language, which means that the pitch or tone in which a word is spoken can change its meaning. This allows me to play with the sounds of the words and create melodic verses. My reviewer, Yến Nhi, recommended that I emphasized rhyming in my translation, which would make it resonate more emotionally with Vietnamese readers. Hence, I take a creative approach with my task to deliver the poetic essences of the original poem rather than strict word-by-word translation. One thing that I would have added to my Chinese translations are the footnotes that help readers to understand cultural and contextual references in the poems.
For the title of the poem, I decided to translate “Rinpoch” as “Đức Lạt-ma” (Sir Lama), a close interpretation for “rinpoch,” which usually refers to someone who has been recognized as a reincarnated lama.
In line 25 and 26:
Sometimes I clinch & burn, scheme to freak
out & punch the light out of a bully.
I translated into
lắm lúc con nghiến răng, giận đùng đùng, bày mưu tính kế
nổi cơn thịnh nộ rồi đấm vào mặt đứa bắt nạt nhiều phát.
I used rhyming words such as “nạt” (“bắt nạt”- bully) and “phát” (“nhiều phát'' means many punches, that’s my closest interpretation for “punch the light out”) which also rhymed with “vạt” (cà vạt- necktie) in line 18. I also used thanh sắc (acute accent/ tone), the tone mark for this sound is (´) — as seen in “lắm lúc,” “nghiến,” “tính kế,” “đấm,” “phát”. The acute accent is a high-pitched tone, so when pronouncing it, we have to raise our voice quickly. This depicts the anger feeling that the poet intended. Throughout the translation, you can find more examples of rhyming words, which adds Vietnamese poetic nuances to the translation while also capturing the original meaning. In line 27, I used the phrase “tống khứ cơn giận” (release anger). While it couldn’t completely transfer the metaphorical imagery of the original phrase “emptying your balloon,” it conveys a similar meaning based on my interpretation.
On “Aubade in which I linger” by Patrycja Humienik
While the poem is short, I encountered a difficult challenge to transfer the musicality of the poem into Vietnamese. Although my first draft accurately translated the literal meaning, its poetic meaning was lacking. Yến Nhi, my reviewer, suggested I applied the same approach that I took when translating Kevin Phan’s poem, which was to find the musicality and select the words that encapsulate the emotional depth expressed in the poem. My another Vietnamese reviewer, professor An Nguyen, suggested to me that I select “xuyên thấu” to depict tunnel, as the word is usually aligned with the tunnel-noun in Vietnamese. In this translation, you can see more of the rhyming words and rhyming tones in each pairs of verses, such as “bụi phủ” (dirt path) and “mịt mù” (grainy) in line 1-2, “vòng” (in ”vòng tay” – hug) and “trong” (inside) in line 3-4, “xuyên thấu” (tunnel) and “lưu luyến” (longing) in line 5-6, “thay” (change) and “ngày” (day), “xin” (beg), “mình” (“ẩn mình” - hide/ be left) in line 7-8, and “xin” and “kín” in line 9-10, “lung” (mông lung- drowsy) and “cùng” (at/ with) in line 11-12. This translation brings forth the Vietnamese rendition of the poem, utilizing rhyming words to craft irs structure and enhance its musicality.
My reviewer,Yến Nhi, who is a working journalist in Vietnamese with a keen sense of language, has retained the metaphorical imagery and aesthetic allure of these two lines in this translation:
In line 11 and 12:
Ánh sáng chói lòa ru giấc ngủ mông lung
Rồi xôn xao, cùng bình minh choàng tỉnh!
(In florid glow, lulled to an almost-sleep
Then stirring morning sifts me)
On my translation
In Chinese, the term for translation is 翻译 (fānyì). Chinese scholars have compared the act of translating to the act of flipping over an embroidered piece of silk — the back side is not the same as the front side, and yet it remains the same thing. My own translation work echoes this metaphor, and through fanyi, I have learnt to embrace all the creative and intellectual challenges that my task entails.
I believe that I have the responsibility to faithfully convey the beautiful poems that Kevin Phan and Patrycja Humienik wrote to a broader audience. In translating their work, I learn that the introspective experiences portrayed in their poems are personal yet universal experiences that resonate with readers beyond linguistic and cultural boundaries. In translation, I feel honored and grateful to join Kevin Phan and Patrycja Humienik on their intricate inner voyages somehow. In translating, I hope to welcome more readers to join them on the path of exploration and discovery.
In translating, I learn that we all share a common humanity.
From the bottom of my heart, I am grateful for the time, critique, suggestions and guidance from all of my reviewers for both languages.
Yihui Hua and Dr. Joanne Tsao (for Chinese translations)
Prof. An Nguyen Sakach and Yen Nhi Nguyen T. (for Vietnamese translations)
Thank you Dr. Jacqueline Balderrama for your continued support during my prolonged translation process.
About the Translator
Boi Ngoc Thai is an undergraduate student at Arizona State University. She is pursuing a bachelor degree in journalism and mass communication at the Walter Cronkite School with concentration in PR, and a minor in Business at the W.P Carey School. Born and raised in Vietnam, she is fluent in Vietnamese, English, Mandarin and Cantonese. After graduation, she aspires to work in the international public relations field. (updated 2023)
Translations
“Bellybutton-Rinpoche & I” by Kevin Phan (Chinese)
“Bellybutton-Rinpoche & I” by Kevin Phan (Vietnamese)
“Aubade in Which I Linger” by Patrycja Humienik (Chinese)
“Aubade in Which I Linger” by Patrycja Humienik (Vietnamese)
With grateful acknowledgment to Chinese language reviewers: Yihui Hua and Dr. Joanne Tsao
With grateful acknowledgment to Vietnamese language reviewers: Prof. An Nguyen Sakach and Yen Nhi Nguyen T.